Here’s another diary entry of the ordinary girl. Lets read it together..
After a few days of silently listening and hiding behind the smiling mask, the phase still hasn’t wore off. Yah, the phase did strike and as always its not good this time either. It feels weird telling everyone that nothing is wrong because there isn’t anything wrong, everything is as perfect as before but it just doesn’t feel right.
I have become the latest victim of loneliness and along with it the demons of the self-doubt, self-criticism and good-for-nothing feeling have become the unwelcomed visitors of my mind.
You know there is a small line between being alone and being lonely; and I often cross that. It would take just a few seconds and I would be standing on the other side of the line feeling unwanted. Why so? May be just because I observe and overthink every little thing. Its not that I hate being alone, I savor those moments too but the feeling lonely has become more of an habit now. 🙁
You are alone when there’s no one around you and you might not feel lonely but you can feel lonely even when there are people around you. Just like that the feeling of worthlessness and unwanted takes over any other feeling . Yes that’s the one I hate the most because that’s one thing you can’t share with the ones around you. So, wearing the smiling mask and moving on is the only option till the feeling wears off or May be till forever.
But hang on, before this stupid feeling engulfs me, I am better engulfed by sleep.
A tear dropped down,
Ordinary “Lonely” Girl.
Have you ever felt Lonely while being with other people or loneliness only strikes when alone?
You may read the other pages of diary here! The thoughts shared aren’t from the personal diary of the writer. They are based on observation and input from friends and personal experiences.