For One Last Time, I Turned Back!

“So, College over?? What are the plans now?”
“When is your joining?”
“You back from Bhopal? Everything over now?”
“So said the last goodbye to Bhopal? What’s next?”

These are a few questions I’m being bombarded with these days, no matter whose phone call I pick up or whose messages I reply, the tone and the questions are same. What reply do I give them? Either I nodded silently if the person is in front of me or I mutter a short yes/hmm/yah and try to change the topic straight away. Why? You ask… Simply because the mere question brings back tons of memories of the place I loved. Some might wonder how come in just three years (two and a half or less to be precise)  you can love a place so much that you are teary eyed when board your train to head home finally. I don’t know, I really have no answer for that.

People wonder why tears? What’s so emotional in saying those Goodbyes that were always meant to be said. May be those tears were for millions little reasons and not just one. May be those tears were for all those friends which became family in such a short span of time! May be those tears were for those bursts of laughter that still echo in my head! May be those tears were for the little fights we had! May be those tears were for the fun we had! May be those tears were for the way we teased each other! May be those tears were for ourselves, that we won’t be the same way again!!

Yes, those tears were of happiness that we created such golden memories. Yes, those tears were of sadness that we won’t be able to live like that forever because Life has to go on. Yes, those tears were for the goodbyes we never wanted to say. Yes, those tears were for the distance that would now set us apart! Yes, those tears were for the beautiful moments gone by!! Yes, those tears were for those words still left unsaid!! And amongst those tears the only wish that escaped the heart was, someone please stop this time from flying away so quickly!!

Everything was same as we have left it, with minor changes here and there ofcourse! We didn’t dare explore anything new in this scotching heat but the Sun didn’t deter us from revisiting our old hangout spots! The first few days of the trip, the college kept us occupied with the last college presentation of our lives, which was fairly good. Then we whiled away hours and hours in canteen, watching movie, shopping..  and how could Lake and Tekri be forgotten. We ain’t coming back again, so we had to go there! It felt so good to reconnect with each other, to sing again those songs of friendships where it didn’t matter if went out of tune, we sing anyway! It was an experience which even I fail to put into words. And the experiences like these are bound to give pain unimaginable!

Sunset at the lake!
Sunset at the lake!

We had said our Goodbyes earlier in November but there was a hope that we would meet in May post our internships. And we did as promised and had fun as unplanned! 😛 But deep down I knew, that saying Goodbyes this time would be harder than before. That this time everything will change, for better or worse we won’t know. That this time everyone will go their separate way to carve the future of their dreams. That this time there won’t be anymore turning back. That this time craving to not let go of anyone would be far more than before. That this time tears will fall harder because there won’t be any next time. And it did. 🙁 Amidst the tears, I boarded my train and was back home a few days ago; but still reeling under the effects. But I know I am not the only one going through this. Those nostalgic posts on Facebook say that the story is just the same for everyone. Everyone will miss everyone, Some will be lost but some will not. Some will share their feelings but some will not. But then I am lucky enough to vent mine through these words of mine, not everyone is ( a dear friend of mine reminded me of this and here I am venting out! :P). So before everyone gets bored of my rant and another set of tears well up in my eyes, I hit PUBLISH!! 😛 P.S.- Leaving you with my favourite sight from my favourite place of my favourite city! 🙂

Before Sunrise
Before Sunrise


16 thoughts on “For One Last Time, I Turned Back!

  1. This post of yours brought back memories from the last day of my college. We were so teary eyed and sad to leave each other. Like you said, there were a million reasons for those tears. However, most of all we mourned losing a version of ourselves and having to move on from a phase of our lives that we were so in love with it. But 10 years from that day, I can tell you that there are better things to come. Things and people you would grow to love as much, if not more. Also, in most cases, goodbyes are not forever. 🙂

    P.S. Sorry for the extremely long comment. 😛

    1. Oh, your comment gave courage to me to accept the reality and move on. I hope the life ahead is more beautiful and a even better version of us awaits us there in future!
      P.S. : I love long comments 🙂

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