CHANGE. Change is a demon inevitable. It seeps in and snatches away the monotony of life that we have grown so used to. It doesn’t matter if it comes with invitation or without. It doesn’t matter what it brings happiness or sadness. But the moment of change is weird. I say weird because I don’t think there’s any other word that fits with the array of emotions one can experience at that time.
The call to board the flight for new life has been announced. The plane has taken off. I am sitting 35000ft above the ground as I write this. And the view from my window is breath-takingly beautiful.
Usually at the times like these I dissolve myself into books or music or both but today is different. I unable to concentrate on the book in my hand. The pain is not letting me. Pain? Yes, pain. I don’t know if its the right word. But what do you call it when your heart gets heavy at the time of leaving behind your loved ones to write a new chapter for yourself. Tears fill your eyes when you say goodbyes. Of course that’s the path that everyone must follow but it hurts no? You know you are going far away where only those memories will accompany you. But then you console yourself telling yourself that they are with you always, in your heart. You have technology to connect you to them in an instant…. But.. Deep down you know that this technology won’t give you a hug when you will head back from office, tired and exhausted.
So, what am I feeling? I don’t know. I am numb. Am I excited? Yes, but the excitement hasn’t reached my face yet. The unknown is scaring me right now. I wish I could go back and cuddle next to my mom. I wish I could go back to my childhood. I wish I could go back to the time when I would recklessly hangout with friends. But only if this world was a wish granting factory.
Future is staring me in my eyes, the change ahead waiting to test me if I am strong enough. I doubt. I don’t know if I am capable. Then a fleeting thought reminds me of my dreams, reminds me that it’s the starting of the hope of getting them fulfilled one day.
The landing has been announced. I wipe off the tears that have come down to kiss my cheeks. I try gaining back my composure, controlling the flurry of emotions. I gather my possessions along with my thoughts. We have landed in a new city for a new life. I get up to walk down towards the arrival gate. I know I have left behind too much but I also know that there’s so much to be gained at the other end.
What was the biggest change in your life? How did you feel when the change swept in your life?