The Girl

I was standing in the corner of the room, hiding my tear-struck eyes and wet cheeks with my petite hands. I saw him walking towards me. His face was red with anger and I knew that it wasn’t a good news for me.
“Rakesh, there’s a call for you!”
He paused near the bed when he heard his name. He gave me a furious glance before turning back and walking towards the door.
I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. “Ten, nine, eight, seven…”
I lost count of how many deep breaths I took to be normal again. I don’t know how much time has passed since he walked out. I was still standing in the corner, scared he might be back any time. However, a few moments later I heard his car’s engine roar up. It sounded as angry as him. This was followed by another heart-breaking sound, the sound of my bicycle breaking down into pieces. I knew he had done it deliberately as a due punishment for me for breaching my limits yet again.
I knew he was gone and he wasn’t coming back anytime soon. I ran towards the door and closed it as quickly as my trembling hands would I allow. My heart was now beating a bit slower than it was a few minutes ago. I walked towards the table and gulped a glass of water to soothe my scared nerves. The effect wasn’t immediate but it did help my senses to calm down a bit. I was still having goosebumps as his fiery face kept coming in front of my eyes. I imagined all that could have happened if someone, whoever it was, hadn’t called him then. Just the slightest thought of it sent shivers down my spine.
I also knew that no matter how much I try to calm myself; he will return soon, probably drunk this time, and the situation would be worse than it would have been. I thought of running away but I knew I couldn’t. The guard outside was no sympathizer of my pathetic condition, so thinking that he would let me sneak out was as impossible as it was for an ostrich to fly. I glanced around the room, trying to explore my options of highly impossible escape. It wasn’t the first time I was thinking of this.
The quote on wall, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. – Albert Einstein.” Stared at me. I had tried almost all permutations and combinations to escape but I was still here which only meant that this quote just don’t work for everyone. Out of frustration, I threw the paper weight on the wall thinking that will make the quote disappear. Silly me!
Feeling dejected, I slowly walked towards the small window on the wall opposite the one with the mentioned quote. It was the only window of the outside world in my life. I wondered what world on the other side of the world would be like. I could see the sun setting behind those multi-storied buildings. Few of the birds were flying in the perfect V formation. Out of instinct, I waved at them. I know that sounds so stupid of me. Were they headed home after the day? How it felt like being back to home at the end of the day? Did it feel good? I asked myself. I didn’t know how it felt because I have never been out of home. Was the world outside as beautiful as those pictures in the book?
My heart again ached to run away from this dingy little room. My mind scolded it for behaving so badly today, it had already done enough damage for today. There was no scope for more of it today. I looked down from the window. My bicycle lay helplessly broken there. Tears of sadness rolled down. Either it would be thrown away or it would be mended at his mercy after I would have begged for it for the next few days to come. I would do anything to get it mended I decided. I won’t let him throw the last gift father had brought me. I would trade all my happiness just to hold on to it, not that I had much of it anyway after father left us. Some more tears kiss my cheeks.
I couldn’t bear to see my broken gift anymore. I just sat there and cried. Finally an hour later, when my tears have gone dry, I sat resting my back against the wall holding my knees close to my chest. My eyes were dry and my mind was blank. I pulled out my diary from between the mattress. It was the only safest place I could hide it where I was sure he couldn’t reach it. This was the only companion I had. I picked up the pencil I had sneaked out of his room when one fine day luck favored me. I started writing.

Dear Diary,
I am back to you again. I still don’t have any good news to share. I only have pain in my heart and yah, in other parts of body too. I know I say it every time but I am still writing from my jailed life. I am still unable to set myself free.
I again crossed the threshold of my room today and was caught doing something that I wasn’t supposed to be doing, ever. He had doubted me in the past and have beaten me black and blue for that but today….. Today he caught me red-handed. He caught me reading his books.
I won’t be spared this time. This might be the my last letter you. I’m sorry to have you disappoint but how can a little girl of eleven years kill her curiosity about the world outside? He should understand that. He is someone who should protect me from the dangers of the outside world rather than becoming a danger to me himself. For heaven’s sake, he is my brother.
I should stop writing, if he ever reads this I will be dead next moment. And I hear his car stop outside. He is back and my heart is racing hard again.
Yours little girl.

Knock! Knock!
“Open the damn door girl!!! ” Yes he is back!


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