I was sitting in the park for quite sometime. Thee day hadn’t gone so well and I needed sometime alone. No, I wasn’t thinking about anything right now. Just staring blankly at those little lights that camep from the windows of the buildings that surrounded the park. The planes were flying by, above the society, above my head. Once in a while I would glance at one flying by and smiling at them, waving goodbye. Silly, I know. Quite a few days ago, I was desperately wishing one of them would take me to where I am today. Am I happy to be here? Yes, I guess. Things are settling down now. But that’s a totally different story altogether.
As the planes flew by, so did my thoughts in all the direction. I was trying to keep peace but as usual it is behaving like a butterfly refusing to settle. And for the first time during all this while I miss the city I had left behind in search of something that I’m not sure I’ll get. I miss the calmness that a walk by the beach would fill me with. I miss the endless conversations about anything to everything I had sitting by the Marine Drive. I miss random plans or just going out for the icecream whenever the mood called for it. I miss the hustle bustle of the stations while I waited for my train. I miss the breeze that would hit my face and tangle my hair while I stood near the gate. I miss cupcakes. I miss the place that was home. In all, I miss the city of dreams, I miss Mumbai.
Things are different here, being in the capital of the country, but I won’t start of with comparison here which by default always on the mind of any person who switches between these two cities. So not focusing on the differences, I thought about the time I had spent there and how it changed while moon continued to shine and stars continued to twinkle. It offered me so much and also changed me in the way that it cannot be reversed. So let’s start from the beginning.
When I just landed in this city, I was excited no doubt. This has been no doubt my favourite city in the four metros. Having been here twice earlier in my life I already had an affinity towards it and felt that it always called out to me like I had a purpose there to serve. I had cousins, friends, acquaintances here when I landed but I knew I had to do everything all by myself. Which I did. The initial months were a struggle here. Understanding how the city worked, walked, talked and felt. In these months I experienced something I had never before. The experience of finding myself a home. After two months, I could actually decide what a place felt like home.
Things started to settle and so did the work and new home. I made new friends who slowly pulled me out of my shell and I won’t deny that it was one of those times I really enjoyed. There were no expectations to live upto. There were no judgments to hide from. They were just simply there while I continued to discover a new me, may be a slightly better me. Step by step as I walked on the shore, learned something new every other day. It would be overwhelming at times and I stumbled quite a times but then there was always help that pulled me back to my feet. There were numerous struggles at every phase, be it work, be it at home or be it just being the city dealing with everything else. But I came through.
Just one and a half year taught me a lot and changed me a lot. It taught me how to be independent in the big city. It taught me how to walk alone and love my own company. It taught me how to pursue my passions when work interfered with my peace. It taught me to sometimes just let time be. It taught me that even the worst of people can be good, best people can be rude and help can come out of the most unexpected sources. It taught me that always, always trust your instincts. It taught me people can be much more than they appear to be. It taught me everyone is fighting his/her own battles that at times nobody else knows about. It taught me, at times all you need is trip to place away from everyone. It taught me be a little more confident. It taught me to get back in touch with my true self. It taught me we are what we make our thoughts to be.
It taught me to care a little, love a little and… live a little more.
The ringing phone brought me back to the reality. In memories, I had found peace as I walked back with a nostalgic smile on my face.